As I wrote the book A Nation Reclaims Respect, I learned that the word “respect” is related to “polite.”

The word “polite” is the root word for “politics” and “politicians.” Leaders, by definition, are (1) respectful, and (2) respected.

This book is NOT a political book. It doesn’t support one particular party or candidate.

A Nation Reclaims Respect is a diagnosis of causative issues. It’s about how to contribute to a positive future: for ourselves and our cities, nation, children, friends, work, and lives.

This book doesn’t focus on murders—most people get that issue. But what about gossip? By definition, if you are offended by someone and you tell someone else, it’s gossip. 

Most people believe it is not gossip if it’s true—factual. According to the dictionary, if you tell anyone about the “issues” you have with another person, even if it’s 100% true, it’s gossip. Does that mean you can’t tell your spouse? Your best friend? Your priest? Yes! It’s wrong. It’s disrespectful. It’s uncivilized.

My objective? I want you to experience a more peaceful, respectful, civilized life. Less pain, more gain.

So, if Barry has offended you, what do you do? Telling others is not respectful. Breaking your relationship isn’t helpful, either. What does a respectful person do? You go talk to Barry and hash it out. You go with positive expectations—not with the attitude that you are going to “nail him.” You seek reconciliation, healing, restoration.

You might be thinking, “But I don’t like conflict.” No normal human being likes conflict—except, perhaps, some prosecuting attorneys! If you like conflict, you need counseling. No one said this is easy. It is civilized. It is respectful.

Imagine how many friendships have been shattered, how much pain experienced, how many divorces—even wars have occurred—due to lack of respect.

In my book A Nation Reclaims Respect, you’ll learn about what to do if “you and Barry can’t work it out.” Actually, the world expert on this issue is Jesus! We should have had this nailed 20 centuries ago.

So, if you and Barry can’t “bury the hatchet,” what does Jesus tell you to do? He says: Go back a second time, and bring another person with you, someone who isn’t emotional about the issue. Your objective is not to “nail Barry.” It is to restore your relationship. 

You might think, “This is obvious. Everyone knows that.” Yet, nine out of 10 don’t know it—or won’t do it. This rips our society apart. Are you part of the solution?

What do you know about libel? Libel can put you in jail. Most libelous activity occurs every day with millions of people on the Internet. Libel occurs when you 1) don’t go work it out with Barry and 2) don’t go tell a third party about it, but 3) put it in writing: an email, Instagram, or text—copied to your friends. Gossip, in writing, is libelous. It is gossip on steroids!  

If you say anything that damages the character or reputation of another person, it is called slander. That includes exaggerated caricature drawings of prominent leaders on the covers of magazines. Technically, it is against the law, yet it’s rarely enforced.

Why did I write A Nation Reclaims Respect? To reflect how far we have drifted from a civilized place. A nation can have a strong economy, the biggest army, the smartest institutions of learning, and, through disrespect, it can self-destruct.

A Nation Reclaims Respect provides lessons to improve your relational impact. Join the movement, improve your life, strengthen civilization. Multiply respect. Share this blog post with your friends.

Kent R. Hunter and Tracee J. Swank are church consultants and authors of A Nation Reclaims Respect, available on and

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